Odor Away
by METMA Mandy
Summary: Subtitled "The Poor Sneakascope That Died" Anywayz, its from the point of view of the Sneakascope (That was imprisoned in Uncle Vernon's sock)! :) R/R and join METMA!!


A/N: Ah, the Sneakoscope. You know, the one that has been living in Vernon Dursley's old socks? From the 3rd book? Anyhoo, this fic is from his point of view! :) And I got less than 4 hours of sleep last night. Just thought you'd like to know that. *mutters something that sounds a lot like "Damn school!"  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own HP. But I do own METMA!   
  
But before that, let's have a look-see at this week's winners of the METMA Mandy challenge!! The requirements were:  
-Voldemort must be pregnant.  
  
-The father of Voldemort's baby must be of the human species.  
  
-Ron cannot be gay.  
  
-It must be funny.  
  
-Someone has to say: "Aw, look at the little punum..."  
  
-Someone has to say: "My foot itches". (Mandy's foot does itch, thats what prompted that..)  
  
-Straightjackets must be present  
  
-It has to be more than 2 pages long. But that shouldn't be too hard.  
  
-Someone has to say: "Ha Kof Sheli Be'Esh" (which is Hebrew for, of all things, "my monkey is on fire")  
  
11 people responded to this challenge!! WOWO!! All of the entries were REALLY good, and hilarious! I've had a really hard time with this week's winners, but here goes (I really encourage to read these things...I nearly wet myself!!)  
  
Tied in fourth place.....Aragog (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=157248) and thelonelytaco! (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=156919)  
In third place....Hermione L. Granger! (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=156919)  
In 2nd place...Hermione19!! (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=157749)   
And in first place....Juliette! (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=157412)   
You have NO idea how hard that was. Grr...you guys are too good!  
  
So, I'll be sending out the new challenge to all the METMA members and if you'd like to try it but you're NOT a member, just e-mail me at Leven5@aol.com and i'll send it to you. Now, on with the fic!!  
*****  
  
I tried to help him. I really did! I screamed my head off, trying to signal to the dumb boy that something screwy was going on. REALLY!! A lot of pocket sneakascopes just laze around, not doing their job, sneaking looks at Playboys that are just *hanging* around, but I really tried. Honestly! But no, Sir DeafMute ignored me. Just looked at me disgustedly and stuffed me into the yellow, moldy, socks. And then everything went black.  
  
I'm disgusting? Who if not a PIG would have such dreadful items of clothing in his possession?! Dear GOD, man, had the socks NEVER been washed? I've been in pockets crawing with bacteria, _teeming _with filth, ROLLING in dirt....but it was nothing compared to the foot fungus in that sock.  
  
Fungus. _Ha! _ It might well be called zyknoiw, becuase it was NOTHING of this world. Egyptians are known for their...ah...less than clean lifestyles, but "Mr." Durley put Vernon Dursley thought Mr. Potter was odd; Ah, what a laugh. Compared to this rancid sock, PotHead's SBD farts were like sweet perfume.  
  
Goodness...getting a little lightheaded again...*blacks out*  
  
_Narrator Type Person: Ten months later...._  
  
...OderAway works on all types of odors! Pet, cigarette, and even *shudder* foot fungus! And if you order two cases of OderAway now, you'll get this free spongue, signed by me, Mr. Sneakoscope! So call today, and make that Odor go Away! *grins, showing off his polished red buzzer*  
****  
  
A/N: Get it? He created an odor killer? LOL!!! He's not doing too bad for himself, eh? Join METMA (Muggles for Equal Treatment of Magical Articles) to help poor magical objects such as the sneakascope get the rightful treatment they deserve!! (Can you imagine living in such an awful place?) Only 2 sickles, and you'll get a kewl badge and lots of great e-mail! Now please review, or else you'll be treated to one of Harry's lovely *ahem* gifts... :)


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